A (Hypothetical) Lin-Manuel Miranda Diss Track of Ted Cruz

I may have been listening to Hamilton too much, and wondered what Lin Manuel Miranda might have made of Ted Cruz’ antics this week… here’s a thought:

We’ve never met in person, but I guess you’re not a patient man

You couldn’t stay in Texas because you had a vacation planned?

You want to be a better dad? Try stepping up (or stepping down)

And teach your daughter leadership means helping out, not skipping town.

But you’re a senator and you’ve got money, so that white sand

Beach has got your name on it- just take a little flight, man

You must be getting tired from subverting our democracy

And maybe even suffering from terminal hypocrisy.

 I guess it’s no surprise you’d disappear in a calamity

You wouldn’t even publicly defend your wife and family

You’re hungry but you’re spineless, so you’re basically a gastropod

Who uses slime to get ahead. You said there might be massive fraud

And Pennsylvania has to vote the way that Texas thinks they can?

You clerked for Rehnquist, dude, you must have known that claim would never stand.

Thinking that you’re clever cause your politics is cynical

Pretending that self-interest is standing up on principle

Like Ron Artest’s insurance plan I’m getting metaphysical

You claim to be pro-life and yet you’re proud of pushing executions

Splitting kids from parents when they came here fleeing persecution

Guess you’re not a proper jurist

Just another opportunist

Who’d support an insurrection

If it helped him win election.

I can’t find your heart despite this total verbal vivisection.

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